Adolescence

原文

Parents are often upset when their children praise the homes of their friends and regard it as a slur on their own cooking, or cleaning, or furniture, and often are foolish enough to let the adolescents see that they are annoyed. They may even accuse them of disloyalty, or make some spiteful remark about the friends' parents. Such loss of dignity and descent into childish behaviour on the part to their parents about the place or people they visit. Before very long the parents will be complaining that the child is so secretive and never tells them anything, but they seldom realize that they have brought this on themselves.

Disillusionment with the parents, however good and adequate they may be both as parents and as individuals, is to some degree inevitable. Most children have such a high ideal of their parents, unless the parents themselves have been unsatisfactory, that it can hardly hope to stand up to a realistic evaluation. Parents would be greatly surprised and deeply touched if they hope to stand up to a realistic evaluation. Parents would be greatly surprised and deeply touched if they realized how much belief their children usually have in their character and infallibility, and how much this faith means to a child. If parents were prepared for this adolescent reaction, and realized that it was a sign that the child was growing up and developing valuable powers of observation and independent judgment, they would not be so hurt, and therefore would not drive the child into opposition by resenting and resisting it.

The adolescent, with his passion for sincerity, always respects a parent who admits that he is wrong, or ignorant, or even that he has been unfair or unjust. What the child cannot forgive is the parent's refusal to admit these charges if the child knows them to be true. Victorian parents believed that they kept their dignity by retreating behind an unreasoning authoritarian attitude; in fact they did nothing of the kind, but children were then too cowed to let them know how they really felt. Today we tend to go to the other extreme, but on the whole this is a healthier attitude both for the child and the parent. It is always wiser and safer to face up to reality, however painful it may be at the moment.

--DOTID OFLUM Journey Through Adolescence --

译文

父母常常会感到不安，当孩子们赞美朋友的家时，他们会把这视为对自己烹饪、清洁或家具的轻视，而且往往愚蠢到让青少年看出自己的不快。他们甚至可能指责孩子不忠，或对朋友的父母说些恶意的话。这种丧失尊严和陷入幼稚行为的表现，出现在父母一方，针对孩子所访问的地方或人。不久之后，父母就会抱怨孩子如此 secretive，从不说任何事给他们听，但他们很少意识到这是自己一手造成的。

孩子对父母的幻灭感，无论父母作为父母或个人多么优秀和称职，在某种程度上是不可避免的。大多数孩子对父母抱有极高的理想，除非父母本身表现不佳，否则这种理想很难经受现实的检验。如果父母意识到孩子们通常对他们的品格和无误性怀有如此强烈的信念，以及这种信念对孩子意味着多少，他们会感到无比惊讶和深深感动。如果父母事先为青少年的这种反应做好准备，并认识到这是孩子在成长、发展宝贵的观察力和独立判断力的标志，他们就不会那么受伤，因此也不会通过怨恨和抵制来把孩子推向对立面。

青少年以对真诚的热忱，总会尊重那些承认自己错误、无知、甚至不公或不义的父母。孩子无法原谅的，是父母拒绝承认这些指控，而孩子知道它们是真实的。维多利亚时代的父母相信，通过躲在不讲道理的专制态度背后，他们能维护尊严；事实上，他们根本没有做到，但当时的孩子们被吓得太厉害，不敢让他们知道真实感受。今天，我们倾向于走向另一个极端，但总体上，这对孩子和父母来说是一种更健康的做法。直面现实，纵然一时痛苦不堪，也总是更明智、更安全的。

--DOTID OFLUM Journey Through Adolescence --

词汇表

upset

形容词, 动词, 名词

英:/ʌpˈsɛt/

美:/ʌpˈsɛt/

定义

1. 心烦意乱的 - Disturbed or distressed emotionally.

例子: Parents are often upset when their children praise others.

例子: She was upset after hearing the bad news.

2. 使不安 - To cause someone to worry or become unhappy.

例子: The comment upset her greatly.

例子: Don't upset the child with harsh words.

近义词

distressed: 强调情感上的痛苦，较正式，常用于心理状态描述，而 'upset' 更通用且口语化。

agitated: 突出兴奋或不安的动态状态，相比 'upset' 更强调身体或精神上的躁动。

bothered: 更轻松、非正式的表达，常用于小烦恼，而 'upset' 可涉及更深层的情感。

反义词:

calm, content, pleased

用法

常用于描述情感状态，常见搭配如 'get upset' 或 'feel upset'，在非正式语境中流行，尤其在家庭或个人关系中。

形式:

复数: upsets (as noun), 过去式: upset (as verb), 形容词比较级: more upset

关键句型 "If + 过去式/过去完成时, would + 动词原形"

定义

此句型是第二条件句的典型结构，用于描述当前或一般情况下的假设或虚拟情景。基本形式为：If + 主语 + 过去式/过去完成时（条件从句）+ 主语 + would + 动词原形（主句）。例如，文章中的 "If parents were prepared for this adolescent reaction, they would not be so hurt." 根据《剑桥英语语法》教材，这种句型表达对现在或未来的不现实假设，强调结果的虚拟性。它帮助学习者表达愿望、建议或假设，帮助构建更复杂的对话和叙述。

此句型在英语中非常常见，用于讨论假设场景，让句子更富有想象力和条件逻辑。

用法

此句型主要用于描述不太可能发生的情况或给出建议，常见于日常对话、建议和故事中。规则包括：条件从句用过去式（如 "were" 表示 "be" 的过去式），主句用 would + 动词原形。在语法体系中，它属于条件句家族，与第一条件句（真实条件，如 "If it rains, I will stay home."）形成对比。

横向比较：与第一条件句相比，第二条件句更强调不现实性，例如，第一条件句用 "will" 表示可能结果，而第二条件句用 "would" 突出虚拟；与第三条件句（对过去的假设，如 "If I had known, I would have gone.") 相比，它聚焦于现在或未来，但二者都涉及假设，提供连续性。跨语法联系：学生可以将其与情态动词如 "could" 或 "might" 结合（如 "If I were you, I could help."），扩展到更多可能性。同时，它与时间状语从句（如 "when" 从句）相关，帮助构建更复杂的句子结构。

例如，在文章中，它用于探讨父母的反应，展示了如何在家庭讨论中应用假设。

注意事项

学生常犯的错误包括：混淆时态，如在条件从句中使用现在时（如 "If parents are prepared"，这会变成第一条件句）；或在主句中错误使用 "will" 而非 "would"，导致语气不正确。纠正建议：记住，第二条件句的条件从句必须用过去式，即使主语是 "I" 或 "he"，如 "If I were rich, I would travel."

另一个常见偏误是遗漏 "would" 或将其替换为其他动词，导致句子不完整。提供具体例句：

错误示例：If parents are prepared, they not hurt.  (时态错误，应使用过去式和 would)
正确示例：If parents were prepared, they would not be so hurt.

练习时，注意保持句子平衡，避免让假设听起来太绝对。

练习

一个原创例子：假设你在和朋友讨论家庭问题，你可以说："If I had more time, I would talk to my parents about their feelings." 这贴近实际场景，帮助学生理解家庭沟通的重要性。学生可以替换关键词，如将 "had more time" 换成 "were braver"，并改成 "If I were braver, I would admit my mistakes."，这样他们在日常对话中应用时就能灵活调整，例如在学校讨论中说："If my teacher explained more, I would understand the lesson better."

通过这种替换，学生能加深对句型的掌握，并将其用于个人反思或建议。

额外内容

背景知识：这种句型起源于英语的条件表达传统，早在莎士比亚时代就已使用，帮助文学作品探讨人性假设。对比分析：与中文的 "如果……就……" 类似，但英语更强调虚拟语气，通过 "would" 软化语言；在法语中，类似结构如 "Si j'étais... je ferais..."，也使用虚拟式，突出了跨语言的共通性。这种句型不仅丰富表达，还能帮助学生在辩论或写作中构建逻辑，帮助初学者逐步过渡到更高级的假设表达，如混合条件句。